Stepping out...

I have decided that I want to push myself and step out of my comfort zone. I have a list of a few things I want to do. They wont be easy, in fact they are going to take a lot of work but I am going to stick with them and follow through. Even if it means pulling my hair out a little on the way...

My Little list of things I want to do:

1. Get better at public speaking!!!! This is a very important one since majority of things that will be in this list require public speaking. I am really terrible at it and I want so much to improve. I get nervous and play with my hair and I stutter....I am going to make a point to not procrastinate on writing my speeches then practice! practice! practice! everyday! (Hint: remember to pull my hair back the day of the speech so I dont touch it!!!)

2. Be in charge of organizing a Key Club event: This one I have kinda already started. I will start meeting with our key club advisor this week to start planning our towns annual kiddies parade. Our key clubs biggest event we put on. I am both nervous and excited about taking on such a huge job but I believe Im up to the task. Its gunna take a lot of work but it will push me which is what I want.

3. Run for NHS Vice President: This one I cant do until the end of the school year but its something I would really like to do. I am currently historian in our nhs and would like to step up into a bigger role.

4. Run for Senoir Class Rep: This is another one I cant do til the end of the school year but I have always wanted to be apart of student council but my fear of public speaking has held me back.

5. Run for Clackamas County Dairy Princess Ambassador: This one is by far the most important to me. It is something I have wanted for as long as I can remember and I am finally old enough to run. I was offically asked by the clackamas county dairy women to run about a month ago and I couldnt have been more thrilled. I am really nervous about running because this is something I have dreamed about since I was little plus I have to memorize a speech....As soon as I get my topics from the dairy women I am going to get right to work on my speech because I really want to do well.

Mom went with me on saturday night to the Oregon State Dairy Ambassador contest to watch so I will know how everything goes so if i win for clackamas county I will know how the state contest works for when I run.

 Me and my friend Jessica who was last years Oregon Dairy Princess who was first clackamas county dairy princess. Hope to learn a lot from her.

I love working with dairy cows so much and even though being the clackamas county dairy princess would be a huge time commitment I would enjoy every minute of it. First things first I need to work on my public speaking. On top of that I need to trust in God, pray, and remember that no matter what happends God has a plan for me. 

Learning Through Ducky

            A wave of heat flushed my face as I quickly put the chicken in the oven in order to reach my vibrating phone before it fell off the counter. Tired from the long day at school and not in the mood to text anybody, I shoved my phone in my pocket without looking at it and continued making dinner. Moments later my phone came to life in my pocket again and I rolled my eyes wondering what on earth could be so important that couldn’t wait five minutes. Almost irritated I pulled out my phone to find out the text was from Lori, my Bible Study leader. Puzzled I clicked open the text and my heart sank as I read the words: “Hannah’s mom is being rushed to Willamette Falls Hospital. Unsure of what exactly is wrong yet but she is unconscious and not breathing on her own. Please be praying!” Closing my phone I said a silent prayer and continued making dinner having no idea of what was to come.

            Mom got home about the time I was dishing up dinner. I informed her of the situation with Hannah’s mom, Sharon (most called her “Mama Duck” or Ducky” because of her last name being Duckworth), as we sat down to eat dinner. It wasn’t until after dinner that things were worse than originally thought. It was confirmed that Sharon had a stroke and still remained unconscious, unable to breathe on her own. If she were to survive, there would be major brain damage. If she were to survive-Those words hit me hard and I couldn’t hold back the tears. How could this be? She was healthy and fine when I was with her only days before. My heart leaped out to Hannah, her brother Ian and her dad John. I couldn’t imagine what they were going through. At that moment all I could do was pray and give it all to the Lord.

            The next morning at school I received a call from my mom with more news. She had just got done talking to my youth pastor, Kyle, who informed her that Sharon was brain dead and that the family had decided they would be taking her off life support that afternoon. My mom told me she would be there soon to pick me up and I fought back tears as we hung up the phone. I just sat in the office in shock and prayer. All I could think was that Hannah, my close friend, was losing her mom. I can’t even imagine being in her shoes. My heart breaks for her and her brother having to live the rest of their lives without their mom and for her dad, John, losing his spouse and having to raise his kids from then on alone. It’s a huge loss.

            Sunday morning at church my youth pastor, Kyle, kept us all in the youth room together rather than having us break up into out small groups like normal so he could talk to us about losing Sharon and about Heaven. It was a really emotional time and I think in someway we all bonded together through the hurt. The thing that wowed me more than anything though was that Hannah, the one that was hurting more than anybody, was making sure that I was okay. I was, and still am in awe of her strength.

            The next afternoon at Sharon’s memorial service we celebrated her life. Sharing memories and worshiping was exactly the way she would have wanted it. Through out the last week many people’s lives have been flipped upside down and it is so easy to look at this and think, how could God do this? But its times like this where I see God working in amazing and powerful ways. At just the right time that week God brought a song to my ear to open my eyes and show me that He is right by my side.

            “And it all feels upside down. ‘Cause my whole world is caving in, but I feel you now more then I did then. How could I come to the end of me and somehow still have all I need. God I want to know you more, maybe this is how it starts. I find You when I fall apart.”

            I feel like God is telling me that He has some pretty major plans up ahead and even though it doesn’t seem like it now; some good will come of this. I can already see it working in my youth group. We are bonding over this loss and are growing closer to Christ. Through Sharon we saw how God wants us to love. Now every time I see a friend in need my thoughts immediately go to her because I know she would have loved them and taken care of them. Thinking of Sharon reminds me to live everyday for Christ, to live for Him like there’s no tomorrow and until then- I know Ducky is up there looking out for me. 

Sweet 16!

This country girl is finally 16!!!!

TillaMOOk Adventure

Well the big day finally arrived friday morning as we all piled in the car to drive mom into canby to drop her off at our church to leave on her missions trip. We pulled into the church parking lot to find out mom had forgotten her pillow at home...of course haha! So we left mom and we raced home, got moms pillow then me and dad drove to woodburn where we met mom and the missions team to give mom her pillow. I then said my goodbye's to my mom and sent her off to California for her missions trip for ten days.

Once we got home we loaded up the car, had a quick lunch at mc donalds and were off to the coast! We got into Lincon city a little before six stopped at a place that had a couple batting cages and mini golf. Of course Dad and Luke being the baseball lovers they are went straight to the batting cages and I walked around with Tom while he did mini golf. About 45minutes later my friend Kim (the state jersey queen, who lives in tillamook) picked me up and took me out to dinner so we could go over the details for the parade in the morning. After dinner dad picked me up and we headed towards New Port where we would be staying for the night. On the way we stopped at "the devils punch bowl" and watched the sun set on the beach. It was beautiful.

Devils Punch Bowl

Sunset at the beach

The next morning we were up bright and early to head out to Tillamook for the June Dairy Parade. I had never been to Tillamook before but I swear it was love at first sight! It was so green and their were cows EVERYWHERE!!! I absolutely loved it, I didnt want to leave.

We got to Tillamook fair grounds and I got on the Jersey Cattle Court float. The other county princesses couldnt make it so it was just me representing Clackamas County and Kim representing Oregon as the State Jersey Queen. The parade was so much fun! Except for the darn wind, I had to hold my dress down the whole time so the wind wouldnt make my dress fly up.

After the parade we headed to the Tillamook Cheese Factory for some lunch and then the tour. We got treated like VIP guest's at the factory since we went in crown and sash. It was really neat. While I was there the most flattering thing in the world happend. This dad and his little boy walked up to me and asked if his son could take a picture with me because im "very pretty". That totally made my day!!!

Me with my float sign

On the float before the parade

Me and Kim at the Cheese Factory

Had a great time in Tillamook and cant wait to go back :) On our way home we stopped along the coast somewhere and went to the beach.

Dad, Luke and Tom on the beach at Twin Rocks

Me, Luke and Tom on the beach, We miss you mom!

I had a great weekend with my Dad and brothers. The only thing that would have made it better is if my mom could have been there. She is off sharing the word of God in a small town in nothern California called French Gulch. Population of only 250! Please be praying for her and the youth missions team as they reach out to the small but rough community. 







"Daddy said I can..." Phil. 4:13

Well school let out and I was thrown into the hecticness of summer and having to deal with some unexpected happenings that have kept me feeling very "go go go" and not a moment to waste.
School let out on friday the 10th and I was thrilled. I made it through my sophmore year!!!! And only two more to go!!!! I spent that friday afternoon with beautiful Nicole Brittingham and it was a blast. I sure do love that girl.
Saturday from noon til 11:30pm I was at Relay for Life for Key Club. It was an awesome time hanging with friends and all for a great cause. Helping at Relay for Life really ment a lot to me cause I watched a dear friend of mine, little Faith Marr, battle cancer at age four and after years of surgerys and praying she is now cancer free!

Now of course just as things seem to hectic enough with my brother Luke having baseball games/practices almost every night a week and me having physical therapy three times a week in clackamas our fridge decides to quit...Lovely. So we had to haul all of the food from the fridge/freezer up to Gramps's house (He has three fridge/freezers in his basement) until we got a new one. Which ment everytime we wanted say ceral, we had to walk to Gramps's get the milk, walk back home, use it, walk back to Gramps's, put it away then walk back home. Not a huge deal just a pain. Really makes you think about how something like a fridge we take for granted everyday when there are people all over the world that live without.
We ordered a new fridge monday and it got here friday morning, seemed like forever but we made it work.

This week is extra crazy. I am trying to get everything all ready for when mom leaves on her missions trip friday morning. My mom will be gone for ten days and if you know my family you would know ten days without mom is a big deal.  Mom has been super busy with work so she can take time off for her trip so I have been doing almost all of the laundry, cooking and cleaning. Im kinda looking at it as practice for when she is gone when I will truely be doing ALL of it.
Im trying to get the house as clean as possible before she leaves so it will be easier to keep up once she is gone. This has proven to be a hard task since it seems like all my youngest brother Tom does is follow behind me as I clean and mess everything up agian. Love that boy to death but sometimes he makes me insane! Although maybe I am a bit of a clean freak...

Dad and Luke after Luke's team took first in their tournament this weekend .

Happy Fathers Day Dad!

Andrew Lo's suprise going away party.

We will miss you Andrew!

So as friday near's I can feel my stress level rising. Things will be so busy and hectic without mom but I know we can do it. We will drop mom off at the church at 8am friday morning and then head home to finish packing for our two day trip to tillamook so I can represent clackamas county in their June Day parade as clackamas countys jersey princess. We will drive to tilly country friday night and stay in a hotel so we can be at the parade on time in the morning. I'll make sure to post some pictures.

Although im feeling stressed I just keep reminding myself that I can do all things through Christ (Phil 4:13). Through HIM I will be able to get through these next couple weeks.

A little pony tail girl,Grown up to be a women...

I got to thinking last night when I was at a graduation party that I am currently two weeks away from ending my sophmore year and at the end of the summer I will be a junior. Which means in just two years I will be graduating!!! It feels like just yesterday I was at my 5th grade graduation feeling so grown up and thinking I cant wait til I turn 16, and now in the blink of an eye my sweet 16 is a little over a month away. As I had this realization I got a little bit panicy...Those years seemed to have gone by so fast! I remember when a bad day at school was someone breaking my favorite crayon. Now im surrounded my high school drama. I also remember those special times when mommy would play beauty parlor with me and she would do my make up. Now I rarely leave the house without putting on make up.

As I thought of all of this I couldnt help but think of Suds in the Bucket by Sara Evens and the lyric "A little pony tail girl grown up to be a women and now she is gone in the blink of an eye..." It hit me that in no time at all I have gone from this little pony tail girl...

To now a teenager...

I have changed so much over the years and its shocking to me how fast the time has flown by. Im doing my best to get really involved in school activities and taking a bunch of pictures and making lots of memories so when these next two years fly by it wont be so much of a shock. Cause I know my God is always there for me and through Him I can take on anything.

Welcome to the World of Blogging

After a few months of watching my dear friend Nicole blog I decided that I should finally enter the world of blogging. So here I am! Haha! Like I said I am very new at this and not 100% sure how to work everything on here so bare with me as I learn.

I figure I should explain the reasoning behind my name....you see my great grandpa Fred always called me Corky. It started as him just being unable to pronounce my name but turned into his name for me. I never once heard him call me by anything else. He was the only person to call me Corky and its something special to me that will remind me of him forever.
Jay comes from the first initial of my middle name which is Jordan. The reason I chose Jay was because for some reason my mom has called me Jay Jay as a nickname for as long as I can remember. Neither me nor my mom really understand why she does this but it is another thing that I identify as something special between me and my mom.
So I combined the two names to make Corky Jay because of those two very special people. I love and miss my great grandpa Fred very much and my mom is truely my best friend and I dont know what I would do with out her.